bad feelings

i hate it when you have a bad feeling and you know its comming but you dont want it to happen so you try and do eveyrthing you can to stop that bad feeling from comming but what ever you do to try and stop it the bad feeling over comes it. it just consumes all of your hard work, everything. i HATE that feeling. ive had it so much lately. IDK what the feeling is for or anything all i know is when something bad is about to happen to me i get away from the situation. cause thats what ive been doing all my life, running away from my problems and my feelings. ive figured out the more i try and express my feelings to someone the more hurt i get. the outcome is bad, the expressing me feelings was for nothing cause the person wasnt even listening, or the situation gets turned around on me some how. so i give up. i just agree with everything that person is saying and its all my fault. thats basically what it boils down too. i feel like im tea boiling on a hot stove but if you leave it on the stove to long it boils over and just gives up on staying inside the tea pitcher. thats how i am. ive held things in side of me to long ive just given up and boiled over. ive said screw it, and just poured my heart out, and when i do it all back fires on me. i dont understand. why does life have so many complications. with out complications life would be so much easier. but no, it has to have stupid fights and war, and other messed up things. but when they all begin to add up in the end. your just DONE! you give up completly and what comes at you hits you hard cause u dont even want to try and fix eveyrthing with anything. lets say you and your mom or your parents have been fighting all......... week. you finally get to the point where your tired of it you just take the blame for eveyrthing even though half of the crap that happenes isnt even YOUR FAULT. so u take it cause its so much easier. cause if you try to explain your feelings to your parents, they blow up. So all these bad feelings I have ive been running away from them, but im done running away, what ever happenes, it just happenes. cause evedently expressing your feelings doesnt work out. (unless you can find someone who will just listen, and shut there mouth untill your down talking, and then give you advice about your situation and not turn eveyrthing around on you.) running away.. doesnt fix things.